R.I.P. Val Kilmer

 h/t Borepatch

Val Kilmer, 65, of pneumonia as a complication of throat cancer. 

We first saw him in Top Secret:

Then he doubled down on his comedy chops with Real Genius:

Then got all serious on us as Tom "Iceman" Kazansky:

Took a turn as the hero in Willow:

Played the only good FBI agent in Thunderheart:

Then stole an entire movie out from under Sam Elliot, Kurt Russell, Bill Paxton, Powers Booth, and Michael Biehn with a Doc Holiday that will stand as the pinnacle of the character for a century or more in Tombstone:

Then blew everyone away as The One That Got Away in Heat:

And finally, brought the "Iceman" character out for one moving last hurrah in Top Gun: Maverick, to save Pete "Maverick" Mitchell one last time, with screentime measured in seconds, in a blockbuster movie that single-handedly saved Hollywood's box office for an entire year.

As a Valley kid from the L.A. suburbs, he came up out of a prep school drama class that included Mare Winningham and Kevin Spacey as co-stars and classmates. Must've been one hell of a kick-ass high school play that year. 

True Story: In yet another horrible remake of the never-ever-should-be-a-movie Island Of Dr. Moreau, a young and far too full of himself Kilmer got tuned up, in front of God and everybody, by no less an actor's actor than Marlon Brando. Apparently Kilmer was giving free rein to frequent prima dona tantrums on set on location in Australia, amidst both a very troubled production, and Kilmer in the middle of being sued for divorce by his wife of seven years, Joanne Whalley, the pair having first met on the set of Willow. Witnessing the latest of these fits, in front of the entire production cast and crew, Brando loudly and succinctly offered Kilmer some withering face-to-face notes on his behavioral histrionics, as authoritatively related by several eyewitnesses on the set:

"Young man, you confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent. 

I'm going back to my trailer. Please have someone come and get me when all of us are ready to get back to work."

The set got pin-drop quit as Brando walked off set, because when Marlin Brando tells you that you suck as an actor, you suck as an actor. 

Kilmer apparently took this to heart, because shortly afterwards, Kilmer pulled his head out, settled down, and there were no further tantrums reported for the rest of the film. And it seems to have brought him back to earth for the rest of his career.

Silenced way too soon, and now finally taken from us all far too young.

Today on the DUH! Channel...

 h/t WRSA

Discuss in comments the odds that Hegseth already knows that answer.

And after that, the over/under odds he'll do anything to fix that longstanding boil on the military's ass, under the theory that victory in battle is their primary mission.

Step One: Anyone who can't perform their service branch's PRT/PFT to the current male standard is given the same number of weeks as they have years TIS to either meet the male standard, or be separated for the good of the service.

There's no Step Two necessary. Combat doesn't grade based on gender.

[Pro tip: I wouldn't be holding my breath for that small amount of obvious common sense, even from Hegseth. #Notevergonnahappen]

{Nota bene: We said "tits" rather than "a pussy", because if we started picking on people in the military packing that gear, it wouldn't just be the women we'd be talking about, and a quite large number of them would be in the O-7 and above ranks. #Fireallthegeneralsandadmiralsforopeners.}

Another Biff Tannen Award Winner

h/t WRSA

Anonymous memester: Award certificate available in stall #3 of local men's room.
Wipe for picture.

As usual, WRSA has a great collection of memes today, as it does most every day. And as usual, the one in the left half of the header is not one of them. The better ones, OTOH, are much better. This one never should have made the cut.

We suppose math is not the creator's strong suit. This is what happens when Common Core drop-outs try to meme.

If you post enough memes from other people, you're going to keep scraping the bottom of the barrel. In this example, we have the Trifecta Of Stupid:

1) Not remotely true. (Srsly? Three names: Mao. Stalin. Hitler. Israel doesn't even make the medal round.)

2) Thus not effective, except as a dog whistle for people who see JOOOOOOOOOOOOS! everywhere, including under their own bed. JDS is real.

3) So sadly pathetic that the memester responsible (too chickenshit to sign their work, as always) had to hijack another protest, and use a black man to carry the KKK's water for them. Apparently it's not as good when someone in a white pointed hood is holding the sign so childishly altered. Who knew? Award x2 multiplier for Bad Photoshop.

We wouldn't bother recognizing such retarded children artworks, but those fish in the barrel aren't going to shoot themselves.

It Couldn't Have Happened To A Nicer Bunch Of Woketards

Coroner's inquest rules that the injuries were self-inflicted.

Meh. It's Only $160M In The Hole, Forever.

The good news? The dynamo they hooked up to
Walt's grave will power the studio for the next 100 years.

The Leftards Have A Cunning Plan

Inconvenient Truths

 h/t WRSA

That's both cute, and on-point.

Now do one for the rest of Europe, including Ukraine, on who thinks Russia is trustworthy, honorable, and peaceful. As opposed to just being the Mexico of Europe, except with nuclear weapons and a desire to re-form the former Soviet Union.

Funny how the most stridently anti-Russian countries are all right on Russia's border, including all the satellite republics they keep attacking to keep as part of that country.

Go ahead, we triple-dog dare you. Show it.

We'll wait over here while you work out where Baby Duck Trump has his whole head completely up his own ass, and can't remember anything that happened from 1946-1991, while he bargains another country away as if they have no say in the matter, and then tell me how many other current U.S. alliances are going to survive the next 20 years.

Then tell the class about who the last four or five countries were, who bargained with Russia to divvy up someone else's country like they were Monopoly cards, and tell the class how that worked out all around in each case. 

This should be entertaining.

For the Common Core grads: History - still a thing.

But hey, keep on siding with Russia and Hamas in preference to countries that oppose both, and tell yourself you're on the right side of history and common sense.

I'm still trying to recall the last world leader who was allied with both the Arabs and Russia, but I'm betting some people's historical ignorance - or deliberate blind eye - did Nazi that one coming.

{To the Usual Suspects: -10 points and a stiff-armed salute - but no space - for every knee-jerk "Joooooooooos!" response in comments. Mine your underpants as expected, and live up to all my expectations.}

Sunday Music: Jessie's Girl

Australian born US soap opera hearthrob/secret rocker Rick Springfield's biggest song, debuting in February 1981, peaking at #1 on the charts the week MTV premiered, and his first and last Number One hit. With lead guitar by Neil Giraldo, Pat Benatar's front man and husband.

Fight Fire With Napalm, Following By Nuking From Orbit

 8 US Code 1324:

(A) Any person who---

(i)

knowing that a person is an alien, brings to or attempts to bring to the United States in any manner whatsoever such person at a place other than a designated port of entry or place other than as designated by the Commissioner, regardless of whether such alien has received prior official authorization to come to, enter, or reside in the United States and regardless of any future official action which may be taken with respect to such alien;

(ii)

knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that an alien has come to, entered, or remains in the United States in violation of law, transports, or moves or attempts to transport or move such alien within the United States by means of transportation or otherwise, in furtherance of such violation of law;

(iii)

knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that an alien has come to, entered, or remains in the United States in violation of law, conceals, harbors, or shields from detection, or attempts to conceal, harbor, or shield from detection, such alien in any place, including any building or any means of transportation;

(iv)

encourages or induces an alien to come to, enter, or reside in the United States, knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that such coming to, entry, or residence is or will be in violation of law; or

(v)

(I)

engages in any conspiracy to commit any of the preceding acts, or

(II)

aids or abets the commission of any of the preceding acts,

shall be punished as provided in subparagraph (B).

(B)A person who violates subparagraph (A) shall, for each alien in respect to whom such a violation occurs—

(i)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i) or (v)(I) or in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(ii), (iii), or (iv) in which the offense was done for the purpose of commercial advantage or private financial gain, be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 10 years, or both;

(ii)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(ii), (iii), (iv), or (v)(II), be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 5 years, or both;

(iii)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i), (ii), (iii), (iv), or (v) during and in relation to which the person causes serious bodily injury (as defined in section 1365 of title 18) to, or places in jeopardy the life of, any person, be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both; and

(iv)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i), (ii), (iii), (iv), or (v) resulting in the death of any person, be punished by death or imprisoned for any term of years or for life, fined under title 18, or both.

By my reading of the above statute, federal judge Boasberg, in attempting to hinder the deportation of violent criminal aliens, and continue to harbor them in the United States, has committed about 50 serious federal felonies.

As there is no "king's X" provision allowing federal judges to commit serial felonies in the course and scope of their employment, President Trump should direct the Attorney General to send federal marshals to arrest Judge Boasberg. and refer him to the appropriate US Attorney for prosecution under this section of federal code.,and under as many counts as pertain directly to his rulings.

That should keep Judge Shitforbrains too busy to issue any more jackassical rulings or injunctions, and expedite his impeachment for cause and removal from the federal bench, on his way to federal Supermax.

Start charging federal judges for the crimes they're committing, and this bogus lawfare being directed at Trump will disappear like ice cubes in a sauna. For that matter, tasing a couple and dragging them out of federal court by the hair should curb their enthusiasm for recent shananigans in about 0.2 seconds.

And be delightful to watch.

It's high time the rogue members of the federal judiciary learned about the limits of their power. With a smartly-applied choke chain, and a cattle prod to the rectum for encouragement.